Phantom Baby Noises and a Thank You

I pulled out of the garage last Friday morning on my way down to the South Bay to do some modeling for HP. It was the first full day away from Phoebe. She did great. I on the other hand was hearing phantom baby noises from the back seat for the first half of the drive. I blasted some hip hop driving down 101 and soon I was in “work mode”.

We both got into the groove on our day pretty rapidly.

Phoebe was busy programing with her brother.

I was busy posting selfies in my “casual business” wear and sneaking off between shots to pump in HP’s “Mother’s Room”.

The shoot went really well and Phoebe overall did great except for the fact she had trouble sleeping all day. We also had little bit of a hard time getting back into our nursing and sleeping routine, she was a little restless.

It has been such a luxury being able to spend so much time with her. I work in a place where I have been able to bring her with me and pretty much spend every second of her life with her, but she is getting to the point where she doesn’t need that anymore. She doesn’t like just being in my office. She wants to crawl, play, explore. She loves to interact with other babies. It’s actually ok, in fact needed, for her to spend a few hours of the day without me.

I am in the process of renovating a large room in the downstairs of my apartment. Childcare is so expensive (especially in San Francisco) so I am going in with two other families to hire a nanny. I am so happy for little Phoebe to have some friends she can play with every morning.

I must admit that I am a little excited to have a few hours a day where I am not caring for a baby.

We will see how it all works out. I am sure there will be little bumps in the road. She will want her 11 am nursing session and I may feel a sense of loss, (especially for the first few days when by 11 or 12 my boobs will be as hard as bowling balls) but I am really hopeful for a wonderful and workable set up.

I think whatever childcare or stay-at-home situation you choose, you have to do what is right for the child, but you also have to do what is right for you. I don’t like staying home. I love my day job. I love going on commercial shoots and small acting gigs. It makes me happy and that makes me a better mom.

For some, staying home with their family makes them happy. That work is beyond valuable too.

I want to thank everyone who has made it possible for me to bring my daughter to work with me and support me in my nursing efforts and decisions I have made in raising my daughters. The help we have received is pretty amazing.


Jen and Phoebe




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5 responses

  1. Wow. Well said. I also love my children but find a itch to go back to work around this time period. I sure do understand what you mean about time alone and what makes you happy is SO important.

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