I have found a sort of balance between life, work and play that is often elusive and in some cases unattainable. I wanted to record some things I have done recently so that later when I feel frazzled I can come back to this post.
It has helped that Phoebe is a little more independent and has slowed down on how much she is nursing during the day. This has freed me up a bit too.
- Hire it out.
I cannot believe the amount of relief I had recently when I hired someone to come clean my house. I don’t have a regular housekeeper, it just isn’t in the budget right now, but I have had someone come clean every once in a while. One Saturday I was out with my girls and someone was home cleaning. I felt like I could be fully present with my children. Not feeling guilty that I wasn’t doing laundry. The best part was coming home to a spotless house! So worth the money.
I also hired a nanny with another mom. This gave me 4-5 hours in the morning to get work done. This has been very helpful. I think it is important for mothers to continue to work and have time to create on things they are interested in.
- Go out
I have had a chance to go on some dates with my husband. Just having a lunch with him out where we were not interrupted and could complete sentences and eat a full meal was so refreshing.
I have also been getting out with friends more. I had a girls brunch last Sunday, a lunch out today with some bloggers followed by a party for my sister. It took a bit to coordinate childcare, but it was worth it. I came back to my children refreshed and happy.
- Get outside
Since we have gotten a dog I have been outside way more. I just took a walk at 9 pm. The cool fog and quiet streets was both relaxing and invigorating. Much better than passing out in front of an episode of Scandal.
- Staying optimistic
This has been really helpful lately. Instead of freaking out about finances or why I didn’t book that last job or this or that, I have just been forcing myself to stay on the positive side of things. Just deciding things are going to work out and of course following that up with some positive actions has been way better than feeling sorry for myself.
So that’s what I’ve been doing lately. Amazing what a full half hour lunch without interruptions can do for a girl.
Coffee and an early morning walk with Buck
Jen you set such a beautiful example. I don’t BLOG but pretty much could not have given truer advice. It’s really those precise moments you mentioned that have kept me married and able to do what I do with 4 kids. I think you are brilliant!
I am sure you have a lot more tips!! I cannot imagine 3 boys and a baby!!
Couldn’t agree more! I am a Stay at Home, Work From Home Mom with two girls. One in preschool 3 mornings a week and one in Kindergarten. Balancing house, wife, mom and self is really a tricky act. I love my once a month house cleaner and the occasional grocery delivery. One thing I could add is acceptance of the period of life you are in. Just learn to let okay, be okay and not always have “perfection”. So what if the house isn’t always clean, the laundry isn’t folded right away and you didn’t serve the most fabulous dinner? Good is good enough! Great post!
This is so true. I interviewed a mom who’s kids were grown. I asked her something she would have done differently. She said “insisted her daughter kept her room clean” . She would see her friends houses spotless and thus get into fights with her daughter. Then later she found out all those women had maids! Pointless arguments.