Things Parents From San Francisco Never Say


Parenting in San Francisco can get a little ridiculous at times. Prices are out the roof, the city is crowded and right now people are making money auctioning off parking spots.

I hang with all types of parents in this city from the incredibly affluent to those on welfare. There are a lot of things that get said in those social circles and then there are things you will never hear.

Inspired by the post from The Bold Italic , here are the things you will almost never hear a parent from San Francisco say.


This preschool is so affordable!

Go outside and play, see you in a few hours.

I wish my kids had more diversity in their lives.

I love my huge SUV.

I would never pay $12 for a kid’s meal.

Let’s go to McDonald’s.

I can’t wait for the next party at Pump it Up.

I bought my stroller at WalMart.

My kid has no food intolerances.

We never have trouble parking.

I’m totally not worried about finding a good school.

He’s been doing so much better since we put gluten back in his diet.

You don’t need a jacket, it’s July!

Thank god these Google busses are speeding up our morning commute.

I can’t wait until Nancy Pelosi retires.

Let’s take the kids to an A’s game.

Living in San Francisco isn’t that financially challenging for families.

I love waiting in line for the grocery store parking lot.

I would never pay $1,200 a year for access to an indoor play space.

Isn’t it great how much funding our schools are getting?

I wish I had more opportunities to expose my kids to art.

Go ride your bike.

I love my lawn.

Sure! I’d be happy to give you my affordable babysitter’s number.

Please bring a gift to my child’s 5th birthday party. Don’t even think of making a donation on their behalf.

The best part about our place is the ample closet space.

Hey kids! Look at that naked man!

What am I missing? Any other ideas on what you would never hear a San Franciscan parent say? Leave them in the comments below.

// Jennifer Latch is an actor and mother of three girls doing her best to raise them in this beautiful City by the Bay. Here are the links to get social with her on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. She can also be reached at

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38 responses

  1. This is so funny. It really reminds me of when I lived in SF child-free, as well as whenever I take my LO to the city for events. It’s such a different lifestyle.

  2. Too funny! While I’m in the peninsula ‘burbs, I can certainly relate to most of these. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what a gift it is to live here, but we are in a bubble, aren’t we?

    • True, I think a number of these extend from just sf to the surrounding areas at times.

  3. I’m also from the peninsula ‘burbs – but can really relate. Here’s another one you won’t hear: “No worries, I am sure I can sign up for that summer camp next week and there will still be open spots”

  4. “Don’t go into the part of the backyard I can’t see from the kitchen window” hahahaha.. backyard? And one that is big enough you can’t see the entire thing? BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA! yeah.. right.

    • And oddly enough my girls will swim in it because they were raised here and seem to handle cold well.

  5. This made me laugh. As a parent in the Bay area, I think I would amend #11 to a good elementary school which feeds to the right middle school which feeds to the perfect high school so that you can get into Stanford, CAL, etc.

  6. Native child. My mom taught me 3 important lessons.
    1. Don’t be a jerk.
    2. Bum are smelly, hold your breath, but be kind.
    3. Never sit on a public toilet seat.

  7. I laughed out loud! I am asking for donations at Elinor’s party. Even in the suburbs you can’t take the SF out of me!

  8. HAHA! And how about: “I’m not worried about what elementary school you get into -they’re all good” and “Why are you going to the public pool – just use the one in the backyard” and “What in the world is a ‘playdate’?”.

  9. Not sure why you would not let your kids out for a couple of hours? Also, this whole pre-school worrying is so wannabe upper middle class…

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