You used to do your hair. You used to wear things besides yoga pants. Maybe even a stiletto. Makeup was an everyday occasion and not just once a month. You exercised. You went shopping. You loved going to Target, ok you still love going to Target, but isn’t going shopping sometimes annoying now? Your stomach wasn’t a road map of stretch marks or jiggle.
You were hot.
Well you know what? You are still hot. Maybe you are even hotter. Maybe it’s just different now.
I have a pretty constant dialogue with myself about things that are wrong with my appearance or how I am handling some aspect of my life. A good percentage of it does revolve around how I look. I’m kind of vain, but aren’t we all a little vain?
The unfortunate thing about this self-criticism is it is mostly unfounded. Self-awareness of making unhealthy choices like eating 3 pieces of chocolate cake and not exercising for 5 months is important, but for the most part when I look at pictures from a time period in the past when I had been hard on myself I think, “I looked really good then, why was I even worried about looking fat in that photo?”
I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a mom, especially a young mom and how that relates to my relationship with myself.
How do you find the balance between taking care of yourself and not feeling like you’re selfish or robbing time, attention or funds away from your family?
How do you find the balance between looking good but not drawing negative attention toward yourself?
One of the biggest problems I have is how to financially support good self-care. If I was to do the exercise program I really know gets my body into perfect shape it would cost me about $200 per month. I just don’t have that. Paying for my daughter’s gymnastics is more important to me than a perfectly sculpted thigh.
There is article after article that says “Take care of yourself!” “You are important.” “Love yourself.” “You can’t take care of your family unless you take care of yourself.” It’s all just become a bunch of “blah, blah, blah, I’ve heard it all before, nice little quotes about self-empowerment.”
So what the heck is the point of this post? I think I am just trying to say, let’s not waste time being so freaked out by the fact we are not hot anymore or are getting old, or think to ourselves, “I really wish I hadn’t eaten that danish.”
If you’re going to wear yoga pants, own it. Rock those yoga pants. If you’re carrying a little extra in the middle, embrace that juicy body. If you aren’t happy with how you look, I don’t know… put on some lipstick or take a 20 minute walk.
I guess actually doing something is better than sitting there being upset about it.
What do you think?
For the past two weeks I have been walking daily after about 6 months of no exercising.
I am so hot in my red khakis.