Parenting One on One

jennifer latch top mom blog

It’s wonderful when we are all together doing a fun family activity and everyone is happy and not whining (including Steve and I). I love spending time with everyone playing, eating dinner together or going to the park.

Every once in a while though, one on one time is really needed to be able to make a better connection with each girl separately. They are completely different from each other and   spending time just with one child allows me to fully communicate with them and do something that interests them while giving them my full attention.

It’s fun having three girls a different stages of development. Phoebe is satisfied to go out on a rainy morning for a walk to a bakery.

Ella wanted to play at the park and take turns timing each other running through the play structure.

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Chloe loved a night out of shopping, dining and a movie.

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The benefits I have seen is that it has given me a chance to check in with each child on how their life is going and resolve any problems or concerns they might be having. It’s hard to do that in a group setting.

What I am working on right now especially with the older two is making myself a safe person for them to talk to about their difficulties. With Chloe heading off to Middle School next year I ¬†want her to know that she can be honest and open with me and I won’t freak out. There are no guarantees, but I’m hopeful she will feel like she can come to me.

Building relationships one on one and together as a family has proven to be both important and enjoyable.

Have you made a point to spend one on one time with your kids? What have your experiences, good or bad, been with it? I’d love to know.

//Let’s connect on Facebook because this parenting stuff is better together.//

Top photo by our dear friend Randy Wiederhold

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4 responses

  1. We’ve always tried from the start to have what we call alone time with each of the twins. It’s not always been easy to accommodate but especially as they get older and want to do different things we try and split up even at events. We did a 5k over the weekend but I stuck mostly with Maddy and we all caught up after. I’ve met other twin parents who are shocked that we don’t always move together as a pack but it makes more sense to allow each kid some time with each of us if we can pull it off and then always find time to be together as the four of us as well. Yesterday we spent the day in the town where I got married and it was my anniversary but for lunch each of us had completely different requests so we split up! I think it’s great you’re able to do this with each of your girls.

    • That is neat Beth. Twins are known for being joined at the hip and that can be a blessing and a curse in a way. Well done on your 5K!

  2. I fully agree with your article–such a valuable point. I too have three girls and try to make sure each gets some individual time and attention from me (as does my husband). I never really feel like I do it enough, but what we get in is invaluable in my opinion. It can be simple things we do together, but making a point of getting in some “real” communication during our time I think makes a difference, to me and to them. To make it work sometimes my husband keeps or does something with the other two girls while I take one out for some activity. Sometimes my mom keeps one girl (alone time for grandma and that one child too!), my husband has alone time with one girl, and I have alone time with the other! There are all different ways we’ve done it. But I do feel it builds better relationships, builds a strong communication line where the child feels it is safe and desirable to talk to us, and lets each child know they are important and very much loved for themselves.

    • I like that you set up time with the other family members to the other children don’t feel left out.

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