For the past two weeks…. or maybe the last month, social media and almost every commercial on the radio has been about giving something special to mom. Blog post after blog post is covering what moms want for Mother’s day.

For so many years Mother’s Day was not about what I would be receiving, it was more what I was going to do for my mom. It was about getting HER the perfect gift. Sending HER the cards. Spending time with HER.

I always get sweet things from my girls for Mother’s Day and I am never too fixated on what I will be receiving. (except for my first Mother’s Day when Steve forgot and I sent him right on out of the house and told him where to shop and what to buy!)

It’s been hard this past week because I’ve been really wishing my mom was still here. Still here to see my children grow. See them become these amazing, funny and loving little characters. See Phoebe crawl. See the mother I have become.

As I get older a lot more makes sense about her and I just so wish that I could share it all with her. Do you know what I mean? There is a lot more life under my belt than even there was just 4 years ago. We always had fun, but I feel like I really get her now. I really get myself now. I am finally an adult and I wish that I could have that adult time with her.

It is sad to think that it took her passing to force me to fully grow up.

I talked to Chloe today about what Mother’s Day means to me. I told her that for me it is a celebration of our family. It is a celebration of her, Ella and Phoebe and how much they mean to me. It is a celebration of us as women and the beauty we can create in the world.

I feel how I can honor my mom is to be a good mom to them. Give them the opportunities she gave me and work to create beauty and joy in their lives.

This Mother’s Day the girls have surprises for me that they will give to me tomorrow and I’m sure I will love them. Steve did something for me though that pretty much tops anything else he has ever done, he hired a housekeeper. Yep. Someone came to my house and cleaned for 7 hours while I spent time with my kids. BEST MOTHER”S DAY EVER.