No. No you can’t do it. No you can’t have it. No you didn’t get the job. No you didn’t get the lead. Nope, the scale didn’t budge. No, not this time, maybe you’ll book the next one. No, no, and no.
I had begun to think it was only in the life of an actor that you needed to steel yourself to repeated rejection. Audition after audition with no bookings can wear on one after a while. It’s partly why I started blogging. I wanted to take control of the creative process. I didn’t want someone else, the casting director, client or ad agency, deciding whether I was going to work that day.
I have learned in my efforts to expand this blog of mine and as well other endeavors I have attempted over the past two years that “no” is not just limited to the casting office.
It is everywhere. It happens when I try to feed my kids broccoli. It happens when I try to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. It happens in my head when I think if I’ll be able to accomplish something on a large scale. No. It’s part of life.
It would be silly to think life should be yes all the time. A wide open road with no challenges can wreck a life too.
Recently I’ve had a rush of yeses coming my way. I have booked an acting job every week for the past month. Opportunities are arising with my blog that I am really excited about and I am having some mild success with my Can You Teach a Mom to Skate YouTube series. For the first time in many years of raising a family in San Francisco, Steve and I are above water financially.
I am searching to find what it is we did that created the recent success. Just as you can feel that you don’t know why you are getting all the rejection, you can also wonder what the source of all the success may be.
I still haven’t figured it all out, but I am pretty sure it has something to do with hard work, being generally nice to people, good timing and a little bit of luck.
I think it also has to do with the decision to do it.
A little while ago I was thinking about how much wealth there is in San Francisco right now. The city is overflowing with it. Of course we could get into a discussion about the huge discrepancies that exist in relationship to this. The streets are getting dirtier, the schools lack proper funding and rents are joke, but that is a topic for another day. I decided to find a way to tap into the gold rush that is occurring here right now and while we are far from riding a golden river to retirement, we are finding our way to a more comfortable state and I’m hopeful for the future.
I don’t know why I am sharing all this with you. Maybe it’s because if you are sitting in a sea of “no” it might help for you to know that you just need to keep going. Concentrate on what is right about your life and try to strengthen those things. Assess what is working and work on that harder. Get your partner aligned with what you are doing and just go for it.
(Working on a commercial for Comcast.)
Date coincident with all my commercial bookings were two things:
1. I started putting a ton of work into creating and promoting video content and my YouTube channel.
2. My husband and I finally resolved a subtle disagreement we had about an aspect of my work as a blogger. Us being on the same page really got us aligned as a team which was key. We decided to increase our belief in each other’s ability to succeed. It worked.
Sometimes rejection or loss can knock you flat on your behind and it can feel impossible to get up again. I have been there. I have been broken. I have been so unenthused about creation that the days pass by with nothing accomplished and an ever increasing feeling of failure feels like shackles that you can’t break free of.
It’s good to know that from those shackles can come a time when success personally, financially and creatively can shine a light on life. Learning that I was both the creator of the failure and the triumphs can carry me forward into a brighter future.