Everyone Knows Dads Can’t Do It Right

Posted on by Jennifer Latch · 102 Comments

There are certain ideas that have become common, trite statements about fathers which should be examined a little bit closer.

 

- DADS LEAVE -

A loving father on the New York City Subway – picture by The NYC Dad’s Group

 

- THE KIDS WILL GO HUNGRY IF YOU LEAVE THEM WITH DAD -


I wish Chris Routly of Daddy Doctrines would make me heart shaped eggs.

 

- DADS AREN’T GOOD AT TAKING CARE OF GIRLS -


Jim Lin with his daughter

 

- THE HOUSE WILL BE A DISASTER AFTER LEAVING THEM WITH DAD -


He took care of the kids AND organized her office while wife, Jill Krause, was on a business trip.

 

-  DADS DON’T MAKE TIME FOR THEIR CHILDREN -


David Vienna making time for his boys.

 

- DADS RAISE INTOLERANT BOYS -

Whit Honea teaching tolerance - image by Adam Bouska

Whit Honea teaching tolerance – image by Adam Bouska

 

 

- DADS AREN’T PATIENT -


Andy Herald draws with his son while waiting at a restaurant.

 

- DADS DON’T LOVE THEIR KIDS THE SAME WAY MOMS DO -

Vice President of The Fatherhood Initiative Vincent DiCaro

Vice President of The National Fatherhood Initiative Vincent DiCaro

 

- DADS CAN’T DO A GIRL’S HAIR OR GET THEM DRESSED -


Adrian Kulp regularly paints his daughter’s nails and braids her hair.

 

- DADS ARE JUST THE BABYSITTER -


Charlie Capen is not and never will be the babysitter.

 

- DADS ARE INCOMPETENT GOOFBALLS -


Justin Shyba made it through dental school while raising three young children with wife, Jessica.

 

- DADS WON’T STAY UP AT NIGHT COMFORTING THE BABIES -


Designer Uri Minkoff comforting his sons.

 

 

- YOU CAN’T TRUST A MAN TO BE ALONE WITH A CHILD -


Producer/Director/Actor/Dad Bodhi Elfman referring to his son as his #BFF

 

- DADS LET THE MOMS DO IT -


Photographer and single dad, Mark Rutherford taking his kids for pizza night in NYC.

 

- DADS JUST GET THE KIDS OVER EXCITED -

Photographer Jeff Kathrein with his two children

Photographer Jeff Kathrein with his two children

 

- DADS DON’T SUPPORT THEIR FAMILIES -


My husband with our 3 daughters.

 

- ADOPTIVE DADS ARE NOT AS LOVING AS BIOLOGICAL ONES -

My dad who adopted me when I was 5.

My dad who adopted me when I was 5.

 

What are we doing to our men if we constantly portray them as incompetent? Are they actually incompetent or are we not really looking at what is right in front of us?

The men on this Earth, the husbands, the fathers, the brothers and the sons are strong, capable, loving and kind. Please share your stories about the good men in your lives below.

Update: The reaction to this post has been overwhelming and heartwarming. People started sending me pictures of the wonderful fathers in their lives using the hashtag #DadsDoRight. Share your photos on Intagram, Twitter or Facebook. Lets spread the word about loving and involved dads!

(All photos were used with the subject and/or photographer’s permission.)

// Jennifer Latch is an actor and mother of three girls living in San Francisco. Here are the links to get social with her on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. She can also be reached at jen@oururbanplayground.com//

Follow on Bloglovin

102 responses

  1. Great post. I didn’t answer your survey on FB because John cooks, cleans, has watched Frozen way more times than me, makes the money, plays with the kids and puts our daughter to bed every night. But with his shaved head and tattoos I bet most people would never think those things possible. Let’s keep changing those stereotypes!

    Reply

    • And don’t forget he’s also one kick ass baker!

      Thanks so much for the comment dev!

    • Thanks so much for letting me share the photo. Your Instagram feed was full of great material for this post. I had a hard time choosing which one, but in the end hard earned fairy wings won the day.

  3. The just brought back memories of my dad patiently setting my hair in pink foam rollers many times when I was in 3rd grade. He was incredibly patient and always did a great job. Awesome post, Jennifer!

    Reply

  4. Yes, yes and yes!!! Dads are totally awesome. They are definitely half of the equation and I feel so lucky to have my hubs. He will come home from a long day of work and play with our son for a couple of hours, feed him, feed me, help clean the kitchen, give me time to get ready for bed alone while he entertains our son and tuck everyone in. <3. Great post, Jen!

    Reply

    • He sounds wonderful!

      I also really appreciated your feedback on Facebook over the weekend.

  5. The problem is human beings tend to generalize. And some do it to really strong extent (somebody like me :)). So if somebody got Dad who doesn’t do something right and got a lot of friends in the same situation this person will say “Oh, all the men are like that”. The trough is the diversity among Dads is as wide as among Mums.

    Reply

    • This is true, but I also believe that if we concentrate on what is right and good about people it will foster those qualities and bring about more things that are right and good.

      There is diversity of course in everyone, but it’s the generalities that can be limiting the improvement of the situation.

  6. Jennifer! You made me cry. These are some gorgeous photos of some terrific fathers. Dads are so awesome and I’ve completely lost touch with some of those outdated stereotypes and whether they continue to be propagated or if we just remember them. I’ll open my eyes more and shut them down if they pop up like a big ol’ Whack a Mole!

    Reply

    • I love playing Whack a Mole!

      Thanks Heather. I am so glad you liked the post. It was really amazing working on it.

  11. Jennifer, thank you. Thank you for sharing some of our moments and challenging the negative stereotypes. It’s one thing for dads to vie for equal respect, but quite another when a mom contributes her voice to the cause. Just like so many others have already said: Thank you, thank you, thank you. <3

    Reply

    • You are very welcome and it really was an honor to do so. I was so excited while working on this post and so happy it is resonating with people.

    • It really originated from watching my husband and seeing all he does to support and care for his family.

      I really enjoyed working on this article!

      Thank you for visiting.

    • You bet. Thanks for letting me feature you and your son and for teaching tolerance. It’s so important.

    • Thank you. It was really fun finding all these images that exposed the untruths of the generalized stereotypes.

  20. Made me cry. My husband is a wonderful doting dad to my four children, his stepchildren. He’s a better patent than me, in many ways. The tenderness and love between he and the kids has rendered me speechless multiple times. I wish I could attach a picture…

    I love your blog, and everything you stand for. Fantastic.

    Reply

    • Oh wow, thank you so much. I am sure you are a wonderful parent as well. I would love to see a photo! Email me at jen@oururbanplayground or tag me on instagram @oururbanplay

  22. My darling husband was a single father for 2.5 years to my precious stepson, his first wife was negligent and is now a deadbeat mom. People -usually female teachers or daycare workers- either treated him like a babysitter, or as a clueless parent…until they understood he (now we) have full custody and take care of our son 90% of the time. He is loving, responsible, and nurturing to his son all while teaching him to be all those things himself.

    Reply

    • So not fare!!! On the other hand there are some teachers/nursery workers that treat mums like second class as well. Like when you stay at home means that you’re failure and stupid. They completely forget that price of childcare is at such a level that with more then 1 child it make more sense to stay at home.

  23. Not only has it never even occurred to me to make heart-shaped eggs, I can also confirm that my husband is much better at braiding hair than I am. (Luckily, we only have boys so this pretty much never comes up in real life. And Chris is usually in charge of buzzing their hair, too.)

    Reply

  24. My husband is following in his father’s footsteps by being an active and involved parent. He changes diapers, reads bedtime stories, gives most of the baths, makes pancakes on Saturdays so I can catch up on sleep, babywears, goes to school functions, takes the kids to the park, and does so many more things for all of us.

    Reply

    • I LOVE it when my husband takes care of morning duties so I can sleep a little more. Thanks so much for coming by the post and commenting!

  28. I love this so so so much! My husband is a wonderful father. On his day off he went to the mall and picked out an Easter dress for our baby daughter! What he picked out was beautiful! I couldn’t have asked for a better partner and father for our children! He is an RN so he has a lot of days off and takes care of all three kids on those days. I really don’t know how he does it but he does it all without complaint. People are always so surprised to see him out and about with them. I guess they wonder where the mom is (I work full-time) but it shouldn’t be so strange to see a man out with his children!!!

    Reply

    • An RN who picks out dresses and is a father of three? It takes a very special person to be an RN, they do the real work.

      Thanks so much for sharing about your great husband.

      Jen

    • I am sure there are men who display these qualities, but for the most part I find people want to do a good job raising their families.

  30. My wonderful husband not only stepped right up to the plate and took on the role of dad to my son with special needs, but he’s also a loving and fun dad to our 2 children together.
    Yay for dads!

    Reply

  31. My own father is awesome. I had long hair when I was little and I remember him braiding it before I went to bed if mom wasn’t home. I did a lot with my dad. I don’t know very many girls who would have gotten as excited as I did when I was 17 and my dad came home with a tool box and told me it was my very own.
    Also my brother with his three sons. I’m amazed at how much patience he actually has ( he didn’t have that much sometimes when we were growing up) he spends as much time as he can with his three sons. It’s spectacular to see what an amazing man he has grown up to be.

    Reply

  32. What a wonderful blog! I nominate Chris Epting as one of the amazing dads of the world. With his guidance and example, his kids are living their dreams while getting a great education, and leaders in their respective interests and activities!

    Reply

  33. My amazing husband stays at home and is the primary caregiver for our 3 kids as well as the primary cook and housekeeper. For the past 2 months he’s been doing all that WHILE managing end-of-school-year craziness AND 2 kids on 2 different ball teams AND packing our house for an interstate move AND he’s been doing it all solo while I am in another state for my new job. Words cannot describe the amount of trust and respect I have for him, or how wonderful a role model he is for our kids.

    Reply

  35. Thanks so much for this post! I was raised primarily by my dad and am now married to a wonderful dad myself. :) We have we have 3 children together (one of whom is my biological child that my husband immediately adopted when we got married). I also have a stepdaughter that we fight tooth and nail for time with… My husband is an active duty marine and gives 150% for his country and 500% to his kids! Thanks for this encouraging message. I’ll be sure to pass this on to him. :) <3

    Reply

    • Oh my goodness! That would be wonderful if you did. I can hardly imagine what life is like for you all and the service you are doing for all of us is so appreciated.

  41. I’m ignorant, and socially inept, but my wife reads everything, from everyone, everywhere. She then sends me links to read that see feels will boost my moral as a hard working , struggling , emotional father of two. Thanks for addressing that we are not all stupid sitcom men.
    I look forward to the next link my wife sends me, as I’m too foolish to learn how to find it myself. ( stupid man)

    Reply

  43. javascript:void(0); To me this is the most loving dad of 4 dauthers and a son, he is almost a granddad of 13 grandchild’ren. He is the best caring daddy that I know off, he worked long days to feed them. He spend time with them and loved them so deerly that he would do anything to make them happy. Now he enjoys his grandkids and is so involved in their lives it only gives him joy and pleasir and he is feeling so blessed.

    Reply

  44. As an at home Dad of 3 for almost 8 years…I love everything about this! Wonderfully done! The only one I would add is that I am NOT Mr. Mom. I wrote a whole Facebook post about that the other day :) Great work here! TY

    Bradley Egel
    Stay at Home Dad of 3, Cancer Warrior, Teacher, Musician & Optimist

    Reply

  45. Thanks for helping spread the word about dads who have broken the mold! I really love what you’ve done here!

    Reply

  46. My husband would do anything for our 2 year old daughter. He works over nights then comes home and stays with her while I work during the day. They bond and play during the day. She is his world (as well as mine). She’s lucky to have a daddy like him. ❤️

    Reply

    • I agree with you, to a degree, but is there a race you feel is not represented here?

  48. Fortunately men have a sense of humor and broad shoulders, so you can say these things. For the same reason, they are likely to take pictures illustrating some of these rumors…

    Reply

  49. This post is brilliant. My husband has been complaining about the depiction of dads in sitcoms, childrens’ books and memes since he became a dad. It has been quite a hunt to find a book that doesn’t made a dad look like a doofus. Down with the smear campaign. Dads ARE awesome. They are an integral part of the family unit and they DO RIGHT. My husband, my kids’ dad, is incredible. He loves our kids. He does right by them daily. I wouldn’t take this journey without him.

    Reply

Life is better with comments